Being a stepmom was THE MOST challenging role I have ever done to date. And if someone asked if I’d be a stepparent again today, knowing what I know now, I’d say yes.

Here’s why. Now I have the tools and information I need to get better results. If I run into a snag, because let’s face it, life is tough and even the best tools in the world can’t prevent some of the things that come up in a stepfamily. When/if that happens, I know where to get support, and maybe even learn a new tool. That’s because we have more resources available for stepfamilies than ever before! The bad news is that so many of the good ones are not well-known or shared.

That’s why I’m inviting you to join the 2022 ULTIMATE STEPFAMILY SUMMIT where 20+ stepfamily experts share their collective 200 years of personal and professional experience.

This FREE 3-Day virtual event starts Sept 15 and promises to deliver significantly impactful content that will help you in your stepfamily life.

Join via this link: https://tinyurl.com/stepfamilysummit2022. Either cut and paste it in your browser, or go to my link.in.bio under the “Judy Recommends” tab. You’ll be thankful you did, and so will your family!

What’s a Warrior got to do with a mellow practice like Yoga? Believe me. It actually makes TOTAL sense especially once you’ve learned how to…

Wake the Warrior Within!

That’s exactly what my friend Megan @iammegannolan will help you to do in her free workshop happening this Wed, August 24th.

This live and interactive experience will take you on a journey into the Warrior poses, and the ancient story behind them, to help you go from

Overwhelmed Overachiever to being the Purposeful Powerhouse that you truly are!!

If you’ve done yoga before, it’ll completely change how you see and do the poses. If you haven’t, the cool story may get you interested and energized to turn this practice into a habit.

It could:

🌟Activate the subtleties of the poses and unlock the potent teachings and tools that await you for use both on and off the mat.

🌟 Leverage your time by doing one session that will strengthen your body and mind simultaneously to give you vibrant holistic health.

🌟 Learn to intentionally direct your life from a place of deep knowing and trust by taking charge of your focus and true power.

Join me as my guest! Find the link in my bio under “Judy Recommends”.

What is Love Addiction, and why does it matter?

My premise: the prevalence of unhealthy relationships by far outweigh happy and mutually respectful ones. At the core of all unhealthy relationships are wounded hearts, wounded egos, and people who have lost the essence of who they really are. That makes them vulnerable to Love Addiction.

Sherry Gaba @codependencycurious_toxiclove, psychotherapist and author of Love Smacked, was interviewed by Susan Guthrie @susanguthrieesq on Divorce and Beyond Podcast @divorceandbeyond. Sherry is a leading expert on addiction and recovery, and has made a number of appearances in the mainstream, including Celebrity Rehab, CNN, and Inside Edition. In her book she addresses relationship addiction and codependency. What’s noteworthy is that her education started with her personal experience.

In addition to explaining the signs and symptoms of Love Addiction, Sherry also discusses the mental and emotional states that make some people more susceptible than others to toxic relationships. She even shared the 3 types of trauma bonding, which was of particular interest to me.

I personally have not seen this specifically in my clients. However, I feel like it’s important for all of us to understand, because it’s highly likely that you know somebody who’s been affected (or should I say afflicted) ~ if not in your peers or family, then perhaps in the younger generation. You certainly want to be able to recognize the signs so you can guide your children as they enter relationships.

You can listen to the full episode on Divorce and Beyond Podcast with host, Susan Guthrie. While you’re there, check out the other informative episodes available. I put the link to the episode and their IG profiles are in my link.in.bio under “Judy Recommends”.

Parents, in honor of yesterday being Parent’s Day, this one’s for you, especially if your children aren’t listening to you, making poor choices, or you have a challenging relationship with them. Fern Weis @connectedmomsandteens is a Parent Coach and Educator.

She’s also a Certified Empowerment Coach, Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach, and Family Recovery Coach. Not only does she have the knowledge, but the personal experience as well. She learned what not to do the hard way, and then learned a better way through a parent education program.

Everything she teaches and coaches are things she’s done herself. Things like letting go of the need to control, helping teens become problem-solvers, and infusing values into your parenting. She says, “You don’t have to be in crisis to do things differently. In fact, I want to help you avoid the crisis. My goal is for you to be a strong, confident parent who launches independent, resilient young adults into the world.” She started her business in 2008 to help parents do just that.

I’ve been subscribed to her newsletter for years, and find value in every one I read. If I have clients who have additional parenting challenges outside of stepfamily dynamics, I’d send them to Fern. That’s how highly I think of her as a coach.

Even if you don’t have ongoing intense challenges with your teen, you may still want to follow her @connectedmomsandteens or subscribe to her newsletter for additional tips. If you’re a biological parent in a blended family, then definitely check her out!

Her website and profile links will be in my link.in.bio. Click on the button, “Judy Recommends”.

Drop a “heart emoji” in the comments if you know of a parent who has felt challenged through the teen years.

Do you find value in hearing other people’s stories and what they learned? I do, too, and that’s why I’m recommending Hotwordz Hottopics network on BlogTalk Radio.

As much as each of us are unique, we share similar experiences ~ setbacks, emotions, challenges, and variations of triumphs. On top of that, there are worldly events that affect each of us differently. I want to hear and understand how others experience them, because at the end of the day, what affects one affects all of us in some way. I mean from everyday people who can be transparent and open-minded while discussing topics. That’s what I’ve found @HotwordzHottopics.

Their words: “We live in a complex world, and the best part are the differences we all have. Unfortunately, we have found what we share the most is pain. We all have stories to share, and we find that there are similarities and differences. But life is not all bad, so let’s shine in our own way. … We need these talks, and we need to have them with everyday people. We listen, teach, and learn for the possibility of a solution into this world.”

I’ve listened to 4 of the 8 shows: Ovasi Views, Artist2Artist, I Can’t Be Black With Y’all, and Free Thought Society. I learn something from each episode. For example, it was interesting to hear perspectives of men on dating/relationships from the hosts of Free Thought Society, especially for me as both a woman and professional in the Relationship Industry. I Can’t Be Black With Y’all shares opinions and open discussions related to Black Identity and Cultural Consciousness. I identified with the aspect as it related to being a woman. Creatives will enjoy getting a peak behind the curtain of how to make a business from your visual art on Artist2Artist, hosted by Lisa Michelle. On Ovasi Views, Gg The Storyteller shares stories on topics ranging from Christianity, relationships, mental health, forgiveness, and cultural/worldly narratives.

The link is in my bio. I hope you check them out. Comment below on similar talk radio shows that you like.

How would you define intimacy? How would your partner? What’s the likelihood that you two agree? Very slim. This dichotomy speaks directly to the gender divide, which impacts relationships significantly.

Today’s recommendation is an interview with Randell Turner, PhD, President of Transforming Families. He’s been teaching and counseling on the subject of healthy intimacy for over 25 yrs, offering retreats, workshops, and counseling.

As one of the pioneers in the Fatherhood and Men’s Movement, his first mission was to help men who felt broken, isolated, and lonely. Inspired by his own experiences he wrote the book, Rescuing the Rogue, designed to equip men in forging intimate relationships that last a lifetime.

After teaching his curriculums to men, women inquired about materials for them, because as it turns out, they also don’t know how to have healthy intimacy. I was thinking that exact thing as I listened before he said it.

The fact is, none of us learned how to do relationships in a healthy way. There are no classes on it. Most parents don’t teach their kids how, and parents who do primarily share what worked for them. However, there are numerous reasons why those things won’t work for their offspring.

That’s precisely why Randell Turner’s message can assist both men and women in having healthier relationships. He not only provides a definition of healthy intimacy, but also teaches you how to develop it.

I highly recommend this interview on The Father Show with Mike Thompson. Yes, this is the podcast I recommended last week. Find the links.in.bio under “Judy Recommends” for both the podcast and Transforming Families. Does this spur questions? Send them to thefathershow@gmail.com. Randell will answer them personally when he returns for a 2^nd interview.

As yesterday was Father’s Day, I want to highlight a resource that supports men in all areas of life ~ The Father Show with Mike Thompson. Mike hosts a weekly podcast, plus a resource page on his website, dedicated to helping men be the best version of themselves.

The mission of his podcast is to “Educate. Motivate. Inspire.” Weekly, he interviews experts on topics like parenting, co-parenting, high-conflict divorce, blending a family, being a stay-at-home dad, preventing bullying, human trafficking, porn addiction, masculinity, the role of the men in challenging times, and more. Find him on both YouTube and Podbean.

The Father Show Resource Program on his website is “to provide fathers, single or married, with a one-stop resource of information that can assist them in raising their children, positively and productively.” If you can’t find something you need, reach out to him via his contact form on the same page, because he’s regularly discovering new resources. Plus, he’s both smart and personable, and therefore likely to be of help.

My objective is to facilitate a true partnership within relationships. That means each person recognizing their own value and strengths as well as that of their partner, resulting in synergy. Each person complements the whole while honoring individualism.

I highly recommend Mike Thompson, The Father Show, and his Resource Program because I think there’s not enough awareness of the available support for men. Many men have a harder time asking for help than women. Part of that is an outdated unrealistic cultural norm that men are just supposed to know what to do and how. But as the world changes, we too need to update our expectations and tools.

Find the links to The Father Show with Mike Thompson in my bio under “Judy Recommends”. Comment below on what you think of this resource, and if you know of any others for men.

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” This is one of many inspirational posts @BiologyofBeliefs, Dr Bruce Lipton’s account, based on the book he authored of the same name.

Dr Lipton’s groundbreaking research in stem cell biology gave rise to the field of epigenetics, also referred to as “new biology”. He’s learned how both the environment and our mind affects our genes, and has become a highly sought-after keynote speaker and presenter. He’s praised for teaching complex subject matter in a way that even lay people can understand, and often does it with humor and a theatrical flair. Check out his YouTube channel to see what I mean.

Bruce Lipton, PhD, is an internationally recognized leader in bridging science and spirit. IMO, he’s on par with Dr Joe Dispenza as far as knowledge and impact, particularly because they’ve learned what they teach first-hand through their own research.

With this foundation of Lipton’s background, the context of the above meme changes. We literally can change all aspects of our life from the inside out.

This doesn’t just apply to biology. It also applies to relationships. You can endlessly fight with your spouse, but what is it solving? All it does is release your anger. If you’re not fighting outwardly but holding onto your anger, your repressed emotions will cause other psycho-physical symptoms. Instead, we should expend our thoughts and energy toward what we do want rather than on regurgitating old patterns. I can help you do that if you’re ready. Find the link to work with me in my bio.

Building something new requires daily effort, starting with how you view your situation and what you think is possible. Are you feeling optimistic? @BiologyofBeliefs is a good place to go for a daily infusion of positivity, encouragement, and inspiration. Knowing the science behind it is helpful. For that, I also recommend Lipton’s books and YouTube channel. I’ll add the links in my bio under “Judy Recommends”.

Do your kids listen to you? Ask your advice? Do you have a positive, mutually-respectful relationship with them? If not, would you like to? Or do you know of somebody who doesn’t but wish they did?

Today’s recommendation is Slow Parenting Teens: How to Create a Positive, Respectful, and Fun Relationship with Your Teenager by Molly Wingate, M.A. and Marti Woodward, M.S.. They achieve this intention ten-fold IMPO.

Slow Parenting is both a philosophy and an attitude. The term was popularized by Carl Honoré who wanted to change our cultural paradigm from one that creates more stress for our youth. He compared it to the slow food movement which requires people to be more conscientious about what they eat so they can be healthier. Similarly, slow parenting will require you to think differently about the way you parent, so that you can have a positive relationship with your children, regardless of their age.

The 5 slow parenting attitudes you need to hold every day on every decision:

1. Steward your teens.
2. Respect you teens’ personality.
3. Catch them doing it right.
4. Listening is effective.
5. Parent every day.

Slow parenting will not only help you develop a positive relationship with your teen. Also, you’ll be teaching them problem-solving skills and helping them become independent. Exercises are provided throughout to help you apply these principles to you and your situation.

I highly recommend this book to any parent who finds him/herself arguing too much with, or is increasingly worried about, their teen. I most especially recommend it to remarried couples who argue a lot over discipline, because these 5 attitudes align with Authoritative Parenting style, which coincides with the lowest re-divorce rate.

The book is available for purchase on Amazon, and to read on Goodreads. Go to my link.in.bio under “Judy Recommends” for the links.

What is your favorite book or resource for parents? Let us know in the comments.

Kate Gilmore @katherine_nolacounselor is a Lower School Counselor who frequently showcases educational books, resources, and activities for parents and their school-age children, ranging from pre-school to the tween/early teens. Some are for k-12 students, or their parents.

A few of the items she selected can help children understand and process their emotions, as well as other self-regulation. It’s something to keep in mind given that May is also Mental Health Awareness Month.

The book she’s showcasing today is Creating the Balance: Parenting Through the Middle School Years by Louise Diamond @school_counseling_balance. Written from the perspective of a school counselor, it covers 15 essential topics to help parents guide their adolescents, such as managing screen time, social/peer challenges, improving behaviors at home, coping with grief and divorce, and more. Recommended for parents of children aged 9-14 years old.

If you’re a parent who wants more assistance with these tough topics, hop on over to Kate and Louise’s IG profiles to follow them. I recommend both of them, as well as the products they highlight, and will add both of their links to my link.in.bio under “Judy Recommends”.

Please like this post if you find value in what I recommend. Share with your parent friends of adolescents.

If you have a favorite book or resource for parents of adolescents, don’t keep them to yourself. Please share it in the comments. Or just drop a ♥ if you want to see more posts like this.

I think we all need this at times to lift our mood or think of things in a new way. I’ve found that by doing this regularly, over time we form a different lens through which we view and interpret life ~ what’s happening in our own lives, as well as the people around us.

Fractal Enlightenment (@fractal.enlightenment) is IMO both inspirational and thought-provoking via their IG account and blog.

On IG, they mostly share quotes, like this one from Jim Morrison. I like it because I find truth in it. Jim Morrison had a very magnetic personality. Despite all his personal issues and addictions, people were naturally drawn to him. I believe it’s because he was authentic. He said aloud what most people don’t want to admit, like what he shares in this quote about people trying to avoid their own pain ~ oftentimes through denial.

They have over 1000 unique articles on their blog, which they started simply in 2006 to share their “soul learnings” that stemmed from chaos.

I found them when I was trying to find articles and information on Masaru Emoto’s water experiment. I returned to read other articles and expand my consciousness in new ways.

If you like this kind of stuff, you’ll love @fractal.enlightenment. They have over 1.5 million fans across their social media platforms. I’ll add the link to their blog here and in my link.in.bio under “Judy Recommends”.

What kinds of things inspire you? If you like this, or know of any other accounts that either inspire or motivate, let me know in the comments.

Until next, may you find multiple reasons to smile today.

Betty J Eadie @bettyjeadie is one of numerous people who had a near-death experience (NDE). Hers is the most detailed recorded, which she shares in her book, Embraced by the Light.

Yesterday was Easter. Given that its most prevalent meaning is one of death and rebirth, this book is apropos.

It was recommended to me by a friend. Years later, I finally read it. Why so long? Because I was a true agnostic, and had no interest in anything remotely spiritual or woo-woo. Raised in a religious Roman Catholic family, questioning my faith was taboo – one of many things I’ve been judged for and looked down upon. Not just by family. Other people, including men I dated, suddenly reacted differently toward me when they found out. It scared them. More than that, it confused them. When I reached my lowest point of feeling depressed and angry 24/7, I made the decision to be happy again {period}. Other books / resources started me on a journey. This one came back to me organically, although I don’t remember the specifics.

I don’t share it as a testament to what is. It’s merely one person’s experience. In my Death and Dying class in college, I read many NDE stories. The majority echo Eadie’s; However, a few have recounted a scary NDE. As the social scientist I am (a Sociologist), I can’t discount any evidence. It’s all part of the bigger story, although none of us truly “know” the truth. It helped me to see new possibilities that I hadn’t previously seen.

Seeing the potential of what could be opens us up. It allows us to live in the question. Knowing the answers is over-rated. The mysteries of the Universe are by far more interesting IMO. Of course, knowing the answers to daily life challenges has its merit. Lol But beyond that, I see the benefit of staying open to something completely new, different, and better than even my imagination can invent.

Toast to being open to the mystery.

Its Vision: “In conscious compassion we shine the light of hope on the pathway of Global harmony, in acceptance of self and others, in order to create a more peaceful, vibrant, and loving New Earth.”

If you’ve had one or more bad relationships, or are now in a challenging one, your Healing from it is predicated on Forgiveness. I’ve stated before that forgiveness of another starts with forgiveness of self. When your wounds are particularly deep, Radical Forgiveness is warranted.

The Tipping Method of Radical Forgiveness has 5 Stages:

1. Tell the story
2. Feel the feelings
3. Collapse the story
4. Reframe the story
5. Integrate

Each stage leads organically to the next with the final stage changing you on a cellular level. It becomes a part of who you are. (These are his words, not mine, taken directly from his worksheets.) The words are meaningless without the full explanation of the underlying concepts and how to apply them to you specifically.

Tipping has published multiple books expounding on it. His body of work has been translated to 5 different languages across 51 countries.

IIRFL is about a “transformative healing process … that enables individuals to take ownership and free themselves of their past pain and hurt”. They offer free downloadable worksheets to walk you through the Radical Forgiveness process of either yourself or another, as well as several other free tools. The links can be found in my bio under “Judy Recommends” tab.

I personally have experienced the healing power of forgiveness, and it’s my sincere desire to spread this movement. Every single one of us has a grievance. Healing is in our hands when we’re ready.

Most of us only learn one part of this equation from our family of origin. If you’re from a divorced family like me, or from a highly dysfunctional or chaotic family of origin, you’re lacking the role model of what marriage is supposed to look like. If you were raised in a healthy family where your parents are still together, you won’t learn how to deal with the highly dysfunctional challenges.

I had to learn the hard way: from college, real life, and resources like I share with you here. It’s why I’m passionate about helping couples get through the tough times in a healthier way, so they can experience harmony on the other side.

Today’s resource @WorthTheWar educates on the entire spectrum of relationships from toxic/abusive to healthy/loving. Kimie Pearl is a dear friend who is passionate about ReThinking Love and Relationships.

In this interview with Trey and Lea @stronger_marriages, they covered the following points:

• • Most couples are unprepared for marriage ~ have unrealistic expectations.

• • What works for 1 marriage might not work for all marriages.

• • Your differences are your strengths. They complement each other.

• • You can’t “fix” each other. Accept your partner for who he/she is.

• • “You can’t love each other through” the Red Flags in the dating phase. “Ruthless Evaluation” is called for.

I highly recommend checking out this interview @WorthTheWar’s YouTube channel, along with her other informative videos. You can find the links in my bio under “Judy Recommends”.

~ an excerpt from Judith Orloff’s book, Thriving as an Empath: 365 Days of Self Care, shared @judith.orloff.md.

~ the perfect follow-up to last week’s recommendation, speaking to the same themes:

1) Your partner mirrors your unhealed wounds.

2) See your conflict as an opportunity for personal growth.

3) When you heal your personal emotional triggers, you can increase your emotional intimacy with your partner.

Quote:

“A soul mate is a meant-bo-be relationship with someone for whom you feel a strong connection. When you meet, something in you awakens. You want to support each other’s souls and are each other’s safe place to land. You can take each other further than either of you could go alone.

Still, soul mate relationships aren’t always peaceful or without conflicts. You mirror each other’s light and dark sides. Seeing the union in this way helps you open your hearts even more.

However, your soul mate can become your cellmate without a mutual commitment to grow. Once the honeymoon phase ends, suddenly this idealized person is irritating you and has so many flaws! Your fears, anxieties, and other unresolved emotional triggers surface. Try to embrace these triggers as opportunities for spiritual growth. Your soul mate is not your savior or your therapist but rather someone whom you can love and learn from. When both partners are on the path to spiritual growth, your relationship will be a portal into the mysteries of intimacy.

Set Your Intention:

I will have realistic expectations of a soul mate and not think of them as my savior. I will take responsibility for my own growth. I want to heal anything in myself that keeps me from loving.”

{end}

This is how I help couples and partnered individuals. If you want this, apply to work with me via my link.in.bio.

For my purposes of helping you improve your relationships, I’m going to speak to how to apply this concept to your everyday life.

When wanting to make deep changes at home or your relationship, it’s highly beneficial if you can approach this challenge with a clean slate. It’s an opportunity to start fresh if each person agrees to let go of the past and not worry about the future. Easier said than done, but doable when both people commit.

It’s human nature to believe the past will repeat itself, and it truly does when we’re not consciously changing. Similarly, we tend to worry about the future results of new actions that we’ve never tried before. Our subconscious programming tells us that they won’t work, and comes up with all kinds of reasons why. Yet, those things are merely guesses, because we don’t really know. If you’ve tried it before, but didn’t get your desired results, I’ve found that happens because of the unknown X factor. As a coach, I help clients tweak multiple factors at once; Therefore, they can get new results even when doing something they’ve tried before.

Hence, the ever-present NOW moment is always where your power lies. When you’re constantly worrying about repeating past mistakes or getting bad results in the future, you stay stuck in analysis paralysis. You’re not able to move forward.

I’ve been there, so I get it. Some of those concerns are real, and have kept us safe. At the same time, they’ve kept us in our uncomfortable comfort zones. That’s why it takes courage to experiment with something new. #FoodForThought

Find Eckhart Tolle on IG @EckhartTolle, and the link to his book in my bio under “Judy Recommends”.

• being defensive with your partner
• letting your child do the thing he may fail
• be a realistic optimist
• shed past unhealthy relationship patterns
• get over the bad break-up

Do you know that these repetitive patterns are literally hard-wired in your brain? Neurons in your brain fire a certain way for every thought and emotion, which creates a brain-wave pattern. With repetition, it becomes “hard-wired”, which means it runs on auto-pilot. Even when you tell yourself that you’ll choose a different reaction next time, or won’t do xyz habit, you find yourself repeating it.

Dr. Joe Dispenza explains the scientific details (from research) in his book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, today’s recommendation. It’s impressive how he simplifies complex concepts. He shares his 4-week program of practical steps and meditation practices you can use to re-wire your brain to an experience of harmony and flow.

One suggestion he makes is to do research on what you want so you know what’s possible. This is how coaches have repeatedly helped me. Adopting their ways of thinking helped me interrupt my old patterns, force myself to think differently, and create new results. Now, I can help you, too.

As an overthinker, meditating did not come easy for me. TBH, I still haven’t mastered it. However, I’ve successfully reprogrammed my unhealthy thinking patterns (re-wired my brain) through mindfulness. Understanding the science eased my analytical nature.

Here’s the formula that’s worked for me:

Positive Intention + Self-Awareness + Affirmations = New Thinking Patterns

Learn more directly from Dr. Joe Dispenza @drjoedispenza. Buy his book at www.drjoedispenza.com. His links are in my bio under “Judy Recommends”.

May you find love, luminosity, and inspiration today.

Rosa embodies the essence of Love. When faced with challenges, she reaches inward for Grace so to still be loving externally. It’s her natural way of being. She wrote Love Letters with the intention of inspiring the same in others.

I met Rosa several years ago when we were interviewed back-to-back on the Moms With Dreams show. We became friends when she shared her stepfamily story with me. {I’m always open to hearing these}. Hers has been positive, which puts her in a minority, and I do not attribute it to luck. She and her husband embody “partnership”, and thus collaborate on creative solutions.

I bought her book because I’m always looking for more ways to help clients express themselves to their partner more meaningfully, as it’s my mission to help couples feel a deeper connection and intimacy.

The gem of this book, though, is that it’s not exclusive to romantic relationships. Through words, poems, and story, Rosa clearly illustrates how we can be loving in any situation; and how to use grace to rise to the occasion when it’s not easy. She speaks through her heart and inspires the same in her readers. In times when it takes effort, her guidance helps you see how it’s simpler than you think. When you’re being authentic with heartfelt intentions, your words will flow. Your natural creative expression will come alive.

Love Letters is both encouraging and inspirational. I guarantee you’ll feel uplifted after reading it. Find it via her website, www.RadianceWithRosa, along with her blog and quotes/affirmations of the day. Or go to my link.in.bio under “Judy Recommends”.

Whether you’re single, dating, or in a committed relationship, this book can shift some of the ways you think about relationships, and thus how you approach them. Especially if you have a pattern of unhealthy relationships.

Sandra Anne Taylor, and this book specifically, had a profound impact on me along my healing path, after I decided I was DONE with people who were unsupportive, judgmental, condescending, and generally did not accept me fully (I mean all of me: both the good and hard to take). I had to look under the hood and examine the mechanics of relationships. In essence, I had to learn a new way of being.

This book will make you think, or I should say rethink, your inner motivations that lead to your actions and nonactions with your partner, or when seeking a partner. Taylor prompts you to form a special bond with yourself first and foremost. Then she shares healthy alternatives to unhealthy ways of thinking that are both optimistic and realistic. Her use of story and somewhat poetic prose makes for an enjoyable read. Her suggestions are practical, and the affirmations helpful.

I came across Taylor thru Hay House Radio, which was one of my top resources for self-help authors. Yes, there’s a spiritual component to her material, and an element of quantum physics; But, I felt she did a good job of bridging the two together, and simplifying it to the point of passing the logic test.

You can find this book and all her products on her website, www.sandrataylor.net. Cut ‘n paste in your browser, or go to my link in bio and click on Judy Recommends.

Their IG profile is @whozitzandwhatzitz. Website URL: www.whozitzandwhatzitz.com.

Interestingly, there’s a permanent fixture from Jutenhoops that resides in this store.

Funny story about that. When we walked in, Steve, my best friend, commented aloud about the similarity to Jutenhoops. The store owner, Chad, quizzed Steve to find what came directly from the original Jutenhoops. It’s not obscure, but not obvious either. Steve and I were both wrong. LOL No spoilers. 😉

They have pre-wrapped white elephant gifts of different sizes and prices. If we hadn’t already bought ours, I would’ve bought one from here, and be just as surprised as the recipient. Chad said these are a big hit! I can understand why. It’s one way to eliminate stress of what to buy while adding an element of fun.

I know it’s too late this year for holiday shopping. Sorry on the timing. I found them too late for last week’s “Recommends” post, and don’t want to wait ‘til the next special occasion. Plus, I didn’t realize I had their card until yesterday. But maybe you have other reasons to shop. 🙂

On a different note, I hope you enjoyed your holiday, whatever and however you celebrated. I hope you feel refreshed and rejuvenated. And, hope you’re week is starting out fabulous!

Sending you a plethora of vibes!

Check out how Ellas Blended Family (@ellas_blended_family) did it by creating a new Christmas tradition from their memories! Every year, they buy a Christmas ornament that represents what they did together as a family. Then they decorate the Christmas tree as a family, which is now a holiday tradition.

They also gift everyone a tree ornament that represents something special and unique to that family member. This is a great way for stepparents, stepkids, and stepsiblings to get to know each other, as well as for each person to feel appreciated, fostering positive feelings among all the family members as a whole.

If you’re in a remarriage with children, and don’t yet feel like a “family”, you may want to consider starting an activity like this. If there’s too much tension right now, maybe just try the gift idea.

As in all things related to stepfamilies, implementing new family traditions works best when you’re working as a team with your spouse. You as co-parents (biological and step parent) set the tone in the household. How you handle the inevitable challenges can either breakdown or strengthen your family unit.

If you hold on too tightly to who you used to be, and aren’t flexible in changing, you’re going to scuff up against repeated reminders of the loss of your first family (and associated dreams). At the same time, if you arbitrarily throw out all the old, you may emphasize the kids’ loss if they were attached to them. A mix of the old with new is a good rule of thumb.

As usual, check in with your children with what they want, and have an open-door policy to hear grievances.

Stepfamily life is complex. If nothing’s worked for you, don’t feel bad or lose hope. There are solutions.

Check out @ellas_blended_family to see a healthy stepfamily model.

Colleen Norman Marchi, mom of 3, dealt with years of sleep deprivation and exhaustion. With a Masters degree in Psychology, she was inspired to write a book series. Sir William the Brave Knight was created later in an effort to help other moms and young children.

I met Colleen a couple years ago, and fell in love with Sir William immediately.

I don’t know about you, but I personally know a handful of children who would wake screaming from really bad nightmares, and not be able to go back to sleep. They’re grown now. But if I could go back in time, I’d gift them with this kit!

This soft plushie bear easily sleeps with the child. It comes with a hardcover storybook and a flashlight that projects 8 different images, so your child can shine it into scary corners or under the bed.

Not surprising that IT WON AN AWARD ~ the “Creative Child Award Product of the Year” in 2020 by Creative Child Magazine!

Kids experience anxiety and nightmares for all kinds of reasons. Going through a divorce is a common one, even before the separation of households. There’s a lot of uncertainty about what’s going to change or how. The emotional adjustment of the transition itself: two different homes, bedrooms, rules. This is all prior to one of the parents dating again. Plus, research shows that most parents overestimate how well their kids adjust ~ that kids are having a tougher time in their new life than their parents think.

As an aside, the current events of these times we’re in are likely having a toll on them as well. Kids always pick up on their parents’ emotions, like a 6^th sense.

You can find Sir William @MagicalOrderBraveKnights and www.magicalorderofbraveknights.

Sending you all blessings this holiday season!

Recently, she had a guest talking about the effects of divorce on children ~ Catharine Blake, a Certified Divorce Coach & Psychotherapist. I was really impressed with what she had to say.

Divorce has a lasting effect on the whole family. It’s a rough road for both parents and children, and the brunt of responsibility falls on the parents to navigate. Not only are there legal matters to contend with, but a full spectrum of emotions that comes with that kind of loss and transition. On top of that, parents have to figure out how to be present for their children, who are also riding a wave of emotions but without the tools of how to manage them. I don’t know of a “perfect” way through it; However, there ARE WAYS of mitigating the pain points.

Then there’s dating again, and possibly remarriage – another (bigger) minefield of potential things that can go wrong. A couple missteps and you could have explosive messes all around you to clean up.

Catharine’s story, experiences, and knowledge of the legal system brought a lot of value to the table in the interview. It’s worth a listen if you’re somewhere on the journey of a divorce or wanting to date again post-divorce. I learned something new. Apparently, it’s a growing trend to get remarried but keep 2 households.?! My mind is tweaking on how that would work. But, given what I know and work with regularly, I can understand the rationale for the choice. Yet more evidence that there’s still more to do in this industry as far as awareness, education, resources, and new strategies.

You can find the podcast on your favorite podcast app or at www.judyweigle.podbean.com.

Hope your week is starting out fabulous. Take time to smile, just because. 🙂

Today, I’m recommending @judith.orloff.md. She shared this post a few days ago, and it resonated with me. 1) Because I see a lot of unhealthy relationships and unhealed emotional wounds. 2) It was similar to what my mom often said. She said, “When it’s OVER, you know.” (as in D.O.N.E!) She was referring to her marriage to her first husband. (My dad was her 2^nd).

This is an excerpt from Judith’s book, “Thriving as an Empath”:

“The Heart Knows When it Has Had Enough

“When you have reached the end of the road with a painful relationship or a negative emotional pattern, your heart knows when it has had enough.

“If you feel too tired to go on, or you need to back off from helping someone who doesn’t want assistance, your heart knows when it has had enough.

“When you are working too much and brutally pushing yourself, your heart knows when it has had enough.

“When you keep beating yourself up for not getting the promotion you deserve, your heart knows when it has had enough.

“Some of us are addicted to pain. Letting go of this, or any unhealthy habit or person, can feel wrenching and sad. You need to grieve the loss or be resolved to wait for a possible future opening in which to intervene. But for now, the door is shut. If you can’t accept this and keep returning to a futile situation or mindset, you will only experience more pain or frustration. Respecting the holy closure of what is complete, of what is over, can help you heal and move on.”

[end of excerpt]

Not much else to say on this. It mostly speaks for itself, for anyone who needs to hear it, even if only to pass it along to a close friend or family member. We all know somebody who has experienced this.

Part of the resonance of this post, for me, is the emphasis on heart wisdom. How many times do we ignore our feelings and let our minds override them?

May kind hearts find you today.

Halloween is less than a week away. Thought this would be a fun share.

I admit that I personally have never dressed up a pet. It just isn’t my thing. But, many people do. If you’re one of them, then you’ll love seeing what others come up with. If you’ve only thought about doing it, but haven’t, this may give you a few ideas.

Even if you have zero intention of ever dressing up your pet, you must admit that some pets are simply adorable in costumes.

@Buzzfeednifty has a few other posts about adult costumes, a couple videos on easy DIY Halloween decorations, and fun tidbits of info that you may never need to know but would still find interesting.

If you want to get into the holiday spirit, this profile may help. Also, who doesn’t need an extra reason to smile? Can’t smile too much.

Sending you all many blessings and smiles. 😀

What is meant by a “Love Language”? In Gary’s own words (taken from my personal copy), there are “five ways to express love emotionally. Your spouse has a ‘primary love language’. If you speak that language, she will feel loved. If you fail to speak that language, her love tank will become empty and happiness will evaporate.”

What are the 5 Love Languages?

1) Acts of Service

2) Quality Time

3) Words of Affirmation

4) Receiving Gifts

5) Physical Touch

Don’t have time to read it? Check out the website for the highlights. There’s also quizzes there so you can learn what your love language is, and perhaps even your partner’s. Better yet, have your partner take the quiz, too, so you both can learn together new ways to connect deeper with each other emotionally.

There’s also a newsletter, podcast, and mobile app (all linked from the website)! He even has a profile here on Instagram @5lovelanguages.

No, I don’t get any kick-backs for recommending this. I just firmly believe in this material as another avenue for couples to learn more about each other, strengthen their connection, and infuse more happiness into their relationship. If you feel little to no emotional satisfaction in your current relationship, then this material is a good place to start.

Sending smiles and good vibes to each and every one of you. 🙂