My Intention

My intention is to merge intellect with emotions to ignite Heart Wisdom that makes sense and feels right in my core.

~ What do we really know about how to have a healthy, thriving, mutually-loving relationship?

~ Where did we learn it?

~ How did we learn it?

~ From whom?

~ Did those sources have all the answers?

~ Did they go through everything you’re going through now?

~ What made them authorities on love, relationships, and marriage?

~ What is your description of a “successful relationship”?

• Is it simply one that lasts for years – doesn’t break up?
• Does everyone who has a lasting relationship feel happy in their core?  Some do, and some don’t. What’s the secret?

~ What’s the secret formula to having a loving and mutually-respectful relationship?

~ How do you achieve that when you’re at odds with each other over key issues? Perhaps even philosophical differences?

~ Where do you go for advice on how to handle those differences?

~ Do you have somebody you trust to give you good advice time and time again? What’s the success rate of taking their advice?

~ Do you get advice that aligns with your personal values and personality style, or do you often feel like you have to be somebody you’re not in order to implement their suggestions?

Simply put, relationships are complex, and people are complex. That means that every situation is unique in some way. No advice ever is one-size-fits-all. What works for your bestest friend will not necessarily work for you, or your neighbor. It may, but that depends on various factors, including how you implement their advice. If it doesn’t align with your natural personality, you’ll come across as disingenuous and won’t be taken seriously; Or, you won’t follow the plan through to the end because it doesn’t feel right. Another common reason for others’ advice not working is because there’s a hidden factor that you haven’t considered contributing to the problem, simply because you don’t know it exists. Straight up, the biggest factor I see for advice not working is because it’s bad advice to begin with. Sorry to say it, but it’s true.

The thing is … there are so many misconceptions about what it takes to make relationships work. Not only work as far as ending the argument, but actually bring you and your partner closer together. Your bond with your significant other or spouse should tighten as time goes on. It should be palpable for both of you. And, you should be able to feel like you can be yourself – not hiding aspects of yourself for fear of not being accepted – or worse, that you’ll be judged or criticized. If you can’t be true to who you are in your core ~ if you don’t feel genuine happiness, love, and contentment ~ if you don’t feel secure in your relationship, then there’s something there that needs to be addressed.

That leads me to the primary reason for me pursuing a career as a couples’ Relationship Coach, and secondarily for starting this blog. My entire life has been dedicated to understanding people. That’s why I chose my college major, Sociology, while still in high school, and it’s still where I’m rooted. Applying that understanding to relationships is my passion. I literally get a warm fuzzy when I see two people in love. Thus, it’s my ultimate bliss to play a role in helping more people experience the best love of their life. 

The challenge is real! So many people struggle to be happy in their relationship, yet alone be in a healthy one. Real Love ~ Healthy love ~ is hard to find. Once found, most can’t hold onto it for long, especially in my generation and younger. This blog is part of my contribution to helping people figure it out.

My intention is to be real about what it takes, even in tough situations. You need realistic expectations and practical solutions, not fantastical hyperbole. I intend to create some clarity on subjects that often throw people off-course or keep their head spinning in a milieu of confusion. My objective is for you to come away feeling more enlightened, inspired, empowered, and hopefully clearer on your next best action to take. My approach is a merge between intellect and emotions with the intention of igniting heart wisdom that leads you to clear action ~ action that will not only make sense, but will feel right in the core of your being. The recipe has 3 basic ingredients: mindset, heart resonance (emotions), and an action step forward. 

One blog entry will not be able to solve all your relationship challenges. Yet, if each one can give you a golden nugget leading you to a light-bulb moment, that would give me so much joy. Relationships take ongoing effort. If you’re in a particularly challenging or high-conflict relationship, you may need more than blog posts to dive into the layers and reverse the trajectory. You know what you need more than anyone. Regardless of where you’re at in your journey, it’s my desire that you’ll find value in what I publish here and that the benefit to you will be progress in your relationship and family goals.

Here’s to starting your Journey to Real Love! *TOAST* 

#SettingMyIntention     #LearningToLove     #LessonsInLove     #MisconceptionsAboutLove     #RelationshipsAreComplex     #FindingRealLove     #JourneyToRealLove

As a Relationship Healer and Certified Stepfamily Coach, Judy Graybill helps remarried couples with children become a team, so they can end tension and resolve family challenges. With formal degrees in Psychology and Sociology, she earned her certification as a Stepfamily Coach from The Stepfamily Foundation. Then she formed her company, Sensible Steps, in June 2008.

For nearly 13 years, Judy has been a guest speaker on telesummits like Reclaim Your Life After Divorce and The 10 Commandments of Blended Family Life; on radio shows and podcasts such as Constructive Uncoupling, The Father Show With Mike Thompson, and Healthy Love; and facilitated in-person workshops on topics of divorce, co-parenting, and remarriages. Additionally, she’s been quoted in The Sun Sentinel, and alongside Drs. Patricia Papernow and Richard A. Warshak in Care.com. Stay tuned for more speaking engagements by Judy.