by judygraybill | Coping, Personal, stepfamily
… This would be THE FIRST of any family event, yet alone with the kids’ mom. Although we’d been together over a full year, I had never been invited to any of the “family” things, including his eldest daughter’s high school graduation. …
She showed up drunk, brought alcohol with her, and walked to our local convenient store for a little more. ** Red Flag Alert!!** ‘This is not a good sign!’ my brain screamed at me. At that moment, all I knew is that wherever she was going to be, I was going to be somewhere else.
by judygraybill | Personal, Relationship Issues, stepfamily
Today (Sept 16th) is National Stepfamily Day (NSD). For me, it carries a mixed bag of emotions. On the highest level, I honor it. … more positivity was infused into the narrative ~ a much-needed and welcomed response! However, This day also brings up the unfortunate aspects of my own personal experience. See, my stepfamily experience ended. Although it was amicable, it was accompanied by immense heartbreak, confusion, and resentment. I’m not alone in this experience. In fact, I represent the majority of adult co-parents in a stepfamily. … I don’t feel like a “failure” for its ending. Yet, I simultaneously feel the desire to acknowledge this day as a representation of my story ~ and the multitude of people who, like me, have experienced it as a so-called “failure”. As well as the multitude of people who are on the brink of a re-divorce as I type this.
by judygraybill | father-daughter relationship, Personal
Honoring Dad. At the top of his game, he owned 2 thriving motels. Later, after my parents divorced, he co-owned a successful bar/niteclub. Unfortunate circumstances caused him to lose all of it. Even more unfortunately, he never recovered any of it at the time he passed away. So, he’s not what most people would call a success story. … even though his life didn’t end as a success by conventional means, he taught me more than I am able to express. I’m still learning from his life, both his successes and his failures, 17 years after he died. The story below is one of the lessons I cherish most because it paved the way for many of my successes.
by judygraybill | Mother's Day and Stepmotherhood, Personal
Motherhood is universal, yet personal. We all have individualized experiences with our mom. And if you’re a woman, you also have an experience as a mother, mother figure, or the journey of not mothering. Regardless of your personal experience, you can likely agree that a mother’s role is important. … No matter where you are on the spectrum of the motherhood journey, it’s a sacred journey marker that is personal to you and you alone. Some will be able to grasp what you are going through, while others can’t. But we can all recognize the special bond between a mother and child, and that’s sacred. Today, I honor the Journey of Mother ~ the sacredness of it ~ in all its glory and its messiness. Even the mother wounds point back to the depth of sacredness.
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